I can’t even put into words how I feel. I can’t stop crying. It’s so extremely hard being in the type of relationship that I am in. I don’t understand why things can’t be easy when he’s away. I feel like I’m the last thing on his list of priorities, but I’m not sure that’s true. Everything is so confusing. I just want to smile and feel whole again. Everything is flawless when he’s here with me, but that time is so rare. I wish he was just hours away and I could make a rash decision to go see him. Every time he leaves gets harder and harder. I’m ready to start my life with someone, with him, but I’ll have to wait who knows how long. I wish I wasn’t so lonely all the time. It’s mentally draining. The one thing I want, is the one thing I can’t have.
Even saying goodbye via skype is so hard. Haven’t seen that face in a week and didn’t want to ever say goodbye again, not even virtually. Six more days, I can do this.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this hurt or emotionally exhausted. I need a drink.
all anybody ever talks about on this is how much they want a boyfriend/girlfriend or to be with someone who truly cares about them, and then when a user is in a very happy relationship, they tear them down. not cool! be happy for people, because one day when you’re in love, you’ll want nothing but support as well.